I went to see Her again today. She told me I'm doing fine, no silver lined padded rooming for me. One day at a time She says. I look at Her behind those horn rimmed glasses and want to spit on Her. Does She honestly think She knows what's going on inside my head? Animals let out of their cages and roaming free. Cars littering the interstate at unlimited speeds. My thoughts race like the horses on derby day. And yet....

She knows what goes on inside my head.

Today She made me show her my thighs and arms. My thighs and arms, not Hers, they are mine, they belong to me. So what if I take a razor and sweep it along my skin. A little blood never hurt anyone, sometimes it makes the pain go away. She still doesn't understand how the pain takes the pain away. It's more a physical than the deep down scar tissue emotional feel I put up with from day to day. At least the dogs leave Her alone. They don't nip Her at Her heels from day to day, making her insides churn like the dinghy in the hurricane. But even the hurricane dies down. The storms do calm.

I am stuck in the eye...waiting for the calm to pass.

09/20/2001

Posted on 09/20/2001
Copyright © 2024 Stephanie Myers