it's 3am...
01/09/2010 08:31 a.m.

that's correct, ladies and gentlemen. it is 3 o'clock in the morning on this the beautiful, snowy day of january 9th and so far, i have not slept a wink. what would cause this terrible thing? well, i'll tell you. tonight, i saw the movie The Pianist for the first (and only) time and i can not sleep. images keep flashing before my eyes. thoughts and prayers keep echoing across my mind. are we really THAT detached from the horror and tragedy that occurred less than 75 years ago? are we that naive to think that it could never happen again? are we that materialistic that we complain all day long about our busy schedules, our daily trifles when not one life time ago, millions were annihilated. i am so disturbed i can't help but keep uttering, "oh God, have mercy".

my worries and my fears concerning my family pale in comparison to what was portrayed on that screen. so what if we can't make our bills and we've been behind since august. so what if we have drained our savings and have no credit card buffer, so what if we're not making enough and i'm back to working 40 hours a week. so what? our problems are nothing to what they went through. my heart just aches, cries out on their behalf. are there really people in this world that do not value life? its such a scary thought. war is happening all around us, and we are so sheltered here in the states. sure, our bill of rights are being infringed upon and we live in a more socialist nation than democratic but at least we are not living in fear for our lives every waking second of every day. at least we are not separated from our loved ones and forced to dwell in our own feces. we are not starving. we have warm beds, family in reach via phone or internet, friends to call in a time of need.

so, i am guessing sleep will not come to me tonight, but that is ok. in the long run, it will probably do me good to dwell on all i have to be thankful for and put my small life into perspective once again.

Lord, have mercy upon us.
I am currently Thoughtfull
I am listening to the clock