If tomorrow never comes, I would want just one thing
12/01/2006 08:14 a.m.
You know what's funny? I remember dancing in my room back home to this song. Imagining that I was tracing your lips. And that we were floating or something stupid a silly schoolgirl would daydream of..."and it's youuuuu.." I had to replay the song like a million times because it was always so short, and my imagination could carry me away for hours, across oceans, and past all the known stars, and straight into your arms. And then that weird circus sounding recording at the end of the song would snap me back to reality. Where you weren't mine....and I'd rewind to live it again.

How many years and how far I'm not from that same girl....

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"Everytime I feel alone, I can blame it on you. And I dooo"
Yeah I've got a sappy playlist on so as to get everything out of my head so I can hold it together for the weekend. Not really sure if it's the stupidest thing for me to be doing, because I know I could make it so much worse by going. I'm trying this numbing out process, and then I stop because I don't want to close it yet. It was so hard to open that part of me back up that just maybe, if I close it now, it will really stay gone. And it was too hard to do it the first time. It was too hard to let go completely and come to the realization that it would never happen again. And then, now after everything, how extremely amazingly painful it's going to be to put it down once more. So just for Michelle Branch's sake: "We both know, that I'm not over you" hahahaha. Numbing, numbing my ears to sappy songs; but I haven't dared so far as to play one song, and I'm worried what happens when I do. And when I do eventually become numb to it too, and then whew...I'm ok??? Numbing more senses, my poor Teddy. What do you cling to for comforte? My nose got a sense and
D
O
W
N
went Teddy. I sat there all night drifting away and back to it. Stopping the urge to just grap it and suffocate myself in your scent. But then I did. Ughhh.............FUCK THIS!!!!
Anywho, so my VMars is ruined now too, poor V and Logan, lol! I mean I knew that was going to happen, but couldn't it be before or a bit longer after. As corney and sad it is that my favorite show is upsetting me now. You know yesterday was the first time I talked to someone about it. Mack, who is a tad bit more aware and vocal than others, asked. And he made me feel somewhat better. I hadn't told anyone just because I didn't want to have to explain, and especially not Hilary because I don't want to look stupid. After my whole thing at Lazy Moon Pizza last week about yeah I'm done. I would just feel so, well stupid. Like the idoit who walks into the middle of a busy street and doesn't ecpect to get hit. But he does, and down he goes....




I am currently Helpless
I am listening to Michelle Branch "It's You"