A Late Night Rant from Ryan, wired on Amp (piece of email sent t
12/24/2001 06:02 a.m.
...I was thinking of escaping to the Mackinaw Bridge for New Years. Just something I thought would be cool. But I'm crazy, so a lot of things sound fun to me.
I don't know though, standing out there looking over the water at night, all the stars and the lights of the bridge, the feeling of the cold wind coming off the Straights, kicking around the snow on the shore. I can just feel it in my heart, and it feels good. I don't want to be in front of a TV during New Years, I want to be somewhere memorable. I'd do it alone if I had to, it's shitty to be alone, but I think I'm getting good at it, maybe. New Years is really a time to be with friends and family, but it should be memorable and I doubt anyone I know would go up there with me.
But I think it would be great.
I've come to appreciate things of beauty a lot more now. I don't know what did it, but the way wet snow coats trees, the greatness of seeing the night sky without city lights drowning it, the deep insides of some forrest. Its all just jumping out to me, and I see it and I'm upset I missed it all before, I feel like I've been neglecting so much greatness.
I wish everyone could see things of beauty like that and I wish people could see me for some of the small sparkles of beauty I think are inside me, but they don't seem to.
Well I guess I'll just be a lonely poet, even though I despise the roll so.


I am currently Wired