Tonight, Tonight
12/07/2001 03:52 a.m.
My classes are winding up and I probably wont ever see a lot of the people in these classes. The last couple days I've tried like hell to work up the nerve to ask some of the girls I've thought were cute for their phone numbers, but I didn't. Each time I just grab my bag, hang around for a second and just decide it's not even worth it, so I leave.
It's just so much easier to just not. No rejection, no more hurt feelings, (which I'm pretty sure I don't need), and no questioning myself, "Why not me?"
Sure I may not get the chance I may have to get to know one of these girls, but I just look at it like I probably wouldn't get to know them anyway.
Oh well.

In other news, I got new tires on my car, I know it's real exciting, but please, hold the applause. I'm hoping the new tires will help me not almost get killed this winter. No, sliding down hills and through stop signs are not my idea of holiday fun, but thanx anyway.

I want next semester to start, not so I can start my next installment of stupid classes, but so I can get the left over Aid money and get my new tattoo! It is so bad ass looking! Rrrraaaaah!
It's a guy, croutched with his knees up to his shoulders (sitting) and his head is facing down between his knees, his left arm is holding his left leg and his right arm is on the back of his neck. And he is sitting inside a heart. and both him and the heart are on fire. He has much more subtle flames then the heart, but its just so damn cool. Three people have already asked me for a copy of it.
I'm gonna get it on my chest, around my heart.
The meaning behind it took me awhile to phrase just right and I still haven't got it completely squared away but here it goes.
The guy is me, and I am trapped inside my own heart or feelings. I think because I'm a poet I feel things more deeply, which is good in some ways, but bad in others. So, I am trapped and burning and all I can do is curl up and wait for something to come along and put out the flames.
Do you get it?
My first answer to "What does it mean?" came out too fast and I didn't think it over at all, but that answer was,
"Love Sucks"
I admit it is kind of a cool thing that I could have written under my tattoo, but that's not all it is.
I don't want everyone to think the only reason I am getting this was because I was shit on by the only person I've ever really loved, but there is more to it than just that.
I think I'll stop there. Later
I am currently Detached
I am listening to My mom's radio, muffled through her door