Skool
11/07/2001 02:26 p.m.
I'm sitting at work, not doing a damned thing, because everyone in my office is at a meeting. So that means I don't even have to pretend like I'm doing something, which is a task in its self.
I have to leave for class in a little while, and I just don't care. I think the only reason I'm going to class is because I want to see someone.
But class is no longer even important to me, I used to think, "Hey this is college, its important, because I want to get this education so I can be successful and provide for my women, and our future family"
And that is just not there anymore, I mean I still wanna be successful, but I can't find any really good reason. I go to class most days, but I don't put any effort into it, I do what I have to and scrape by.
I haven't even starting thinking about registering for next semester and the first phase of registration ends in a week or so.
My mind has just given up, and my ass is following. I don't even have a clue as to what I want to do with my life. Its just so hard to think anymore.

Sometimes I picture my self, alone and old. And it reminds me of my grandpa Don. I haven't gone to see him in awhile and I feel bad, but I hate to see the guy like that. He sits in his house, drinking, in a ratty old flannel coat and sweat pants, big boots, with no socks. I can't even imagine how much money he has in the bank, but he lives like he has nothing.

I feel like I have nothing, only sometimes though.

That's what you must realize as you read this stuff, most everything you read on here is bad or depressing, because I write it out when I feel down, and when I feel good, I'm out feeling good. So if you think I'm this sad, lonely, pathetic loser, who has no one, you are only right half of the time.

Anyway, almost time to go to class now, woo hoo.. later
I am currently Indifferent
I am listening to Blind Melon - No Rain (on the radio)