The end
10/09/2001 06:30 p.m.
She asked me to leave today. My ex-fiance' I guess. She said we can't live like this anymore, well by all means I should leave then I guess.
I admitted that it is the depression that has overshadowed my days. She told me to get help and gave me a week before she decided I wasn't moving fast enough. I don't hate her right now, sometimes I get so angry because she has been so straight about it.
A thought has been milling through my mind, the night a bunch of people were sitting on my couch, she was going to play pool with them and leave me alone another night. She stayed behind, for some reason and I told her I was trying real hard, and we started to fool around but when the feeling struck me to not please her I felt bad. She didn't understand why I felt bad and I didn't tell her, so she took my car and left. The next morning she came back and I took my car to work and she had been driving someone around in it. I didn't ask her, but I know it was a guy, the seat was way back and reclined and whoever it was had been playing with my stereo. Whatever, it has become my battle cry. What the fuck ever. I don't care anymore
I am currently Apthetic
I am listening to click of keys as I type