Journal Entry
07/21/2002 11:21 a.m.
I feel like I want to make the kind of statement that sounds good and people like to hear but might seem unattainable or unrealistic.

God cares for you and wants to be real in your life.

sometimes that seems like some sort of ideal, or something we\'d like to believe but isn\'t really real.

the truth is, for many of us, we like hearing a statement like that but we have a diffficult time believing it.
sometimes even people who go to church pretend to believe it but secretly they may not.

I\'ve been like that. I\'m heavy into the God thing and I\'ve been to church A LOT

I didn\'t want to admit to myself, secretly I really didn\'t believe God wanted to or that it could be true in my troubles that God could be real to me, and I\'ve had a lot of troubles.

one of the things I\'m finding out is that God wants to give me peace and life as a gift. I did something really stupid, I inherited some money and I wanted to be a big shot, so I built a retail building (I don\'t know anything about retail but I built a building). So I ended up giving the building to the bank and lost my inheritance. It was a good thing.

I was standing in the building one day, and I was wishing I had a million dollars and I was praying about it because no one was renting any of the building and I was loosing money and it was keeping me wake at night. I asked God to give me a million dollars, you might think that was dumb, probably was, not near as dumb as some other things I\'ve done.

Now I didn\'t hear any voices but it was like God said to me, \"why do you want a million dollars?. \"well\", I said,\"so I could pay off this building\"

\"what would that give you if you paid off the building?\",

\"Peace\", I said, \"it would give me peace\"

(no voices) but it was like He said to me, \"how about I give you peace as a gift, you trust me to guide you when the time comes and I\'m going to take care of you, and I\'ll give you peace as a gift\".

I got peace, not connected to having my problems solved, not connected to my wife being happy (she was sort of bummed about the whold building thing)

day by day I\'m learnig to look to God and expect Him to guide and provide in whatever way He sees fit. God has become real in my life, in the little things and in the big things. And I\'ve got peace.

Here\'s another thing, I\'m learning to love other people just as they are even if they never change. I see a new principle of service in my life for those around me (my wife\'ll verify this) but the thing is I\'m learning to respond to life in a way that bears good fruit and it blesses me. I\'d love to discuss this with you or pray for you.

that\'s another thing, God is real to me in prayer like never before

thanks for reading this,
mike


I am currently Peaceful
I am listening to the air conditioner