we stopped dating before our "official" date (today)
08/07/2002 09:57 p.m.
Yesterday Sean called and we were just talking, then I brought up the fact that he could come over today. He got all quiet and said that he hadn't wanted to bring it up until later and that it was "really hard" to say or whatever. Basically, he said he had made a mistake and that he thought was ready, but turns out, he's not. It really made me angry, but we ended up just talking about nothing for about an hour or two afterwards. So last night, Cyndi and I went to play pool at Lazerworks and I got to thinking. And I decided to be up front with him. So I called him when I got home, but he wasn't there. So I waited and finally, I was bursting, so I called back and left a message on his answering machine. It was really long and I was rambling the whole time, but I needed to get it out. Briefly, I said that I just wanted to know if I should go ahead and get over him or if he thought that there was ever a chance that when he was ready, that we might date again. Well, he calls me back today and said that he doesn't know what might happen in the future, but at the moment he doesn't like anyone. It really actually hurt, him saying that, because when this whole thing started he told me he liked me. Which means, it just kind of went away. I don't know whether I'm relieved or just faking, but I can't wait for school to start. This is going to be a whole new chapter in my life-no matter how lame that sounds. I'll be driving in a couple months and I'm going to get a job and I'll be back in school and back in drama. I can't wait to start theatre again. I'm excited about seeing all my other friends that I didn't get to see much during the summer. I'm excited about seeing, now that all that is out of the way, what kind of friends Sean and I become. I have to admit, I was thrilled to be "dating" him and to get my first kiss from him, but maybe this was all just to get me ready for something better that may be waiting in my future. Junior year, here i come!
I am currently Better