adorable, without the hair gel
01/20/2002 11:38 p.m.
i saw sean and i saw anna. the first night of the plays, afterward, i just couldnt bring myself to talk to him.. so i didnt tell him how good he was until last night, the night of the other play. anna was there. shes very pretty and i dont not like her because she "got the guy" but because she gets to spend so much time with him and talk to him and shes the one who hes going to make laugh.. and i would bet that she doesnt even realize how lucky she is. sean is one of the greatest people ive ever met. hes just a wonderful person and it makes so incredibly sad to know what im missing out on. i want so badly to be his friend, and it sounds pathetic and desperate, but hes just that kind of person. the kind of person that draws you to him and just makes you feel ...good. without knowing it, he made me feel beautiful and funny and just comfortable. im so mixed up. i feel privileged to know him but then again, i hate knowing him and not being able to be close to him. not being able to call him up and just talk to him. not being able to hug him or laugh with him or flirt. i miss him so much it freaking scares me. and it seems that no one understands why or how strongly i feel for this guy... sometimes even i dont.
I am currently Calm