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The Journal of Deborah S Regan Journal Entry
08/06/2002 07:51 p.m.
I've just had a miscarriage a week ago, a bad one. My moods vary; once, when I was in a recovery haze, I just floated on clouds of happiness. But that was unusual...
Yes, I've cried. I worry about my husband though. he wants a family so much. I do too; and I feel guilty for being so stressed while I was pregnant and worried about how we were going to make it. but I didn't want this.
I tell myself it's alright, I'll have a baby, and it will be fine, normal, and beautiful, and that this doesn't matter, but I keep having dreams. I dreamed last night I was still pregnant, it had all been a mistake. and then I had the baby on the kitchen sink in my parent's house, and it was a girl who stared at me with eyes exactly like my husband's blue eyes...
Life can be rather difficult... I am currently Sad
I am listening to ambient television
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