I was to go to my Doctor: 8th Jan, 2002.
01/10/2002 05:34 p.m.
I was to go to my doctor. The appointment was for 6pm. I started from my office at 5.30, well in time, but got stuck up in traffic jam and had to take a by lane which conveniently lead me to my house. I arrived at my house at 8.pm, a thirty minutes drive from my office.
My fixing up of appointment with my ophthalmologist was a positive step in my wanting to see him. The causes were there which made me decide to go and the effect was that I drove in the direction of my doctor’s clinic. (I was the active force/factor). The Doctor I believe was in his clinic at the appointed time (he was the passive force/factor) but in the absence of the reconciling force, we failed to meet. The missing reconciling factor did not allow this happening (accident) to eventuate. The reconciling force, the conducive situation, which would let me be in the space and time, the passive force was. The ACCIDENT could only have HAPPENED when the ACTIVE and the PASSIVE FORCE meets in the RECONCILING FORCE. All these three factors have to meet for any happening/accident to eventuate.
There has to be a cause for every factor/force to exist/effect. The Doctor had a chain of causes to be there. I too had a chain of causes to go and go to the doctor I was going to. The traffic jam was not a conducive situation, which could lead me to the same space and time I was to be in. As a matter of fact the traffic jam wasn’t without cause. The effect of which took me into another direction by converting into a cause. Every effect turns in to a cause for yet another effect. The cause effected by the traffic jam lead me to my house instead of the Doctor’s clinic. What one experience in present is always the effect of the causes from the past? The causes are always in the past. As a matter of fact the past is the cause. And since the present doesn’t remain a present no sooner it happens to be present the effect turns into a cause. Hence every effect will turn into a cause no sooner the effect becomes a past experience. And it becomes no sooner we experience it. This also means that one should be careful in letting the effect eventuate. Can this be done? Yes, certain undoing can do this. But this is another issue, which I don’t want to deal with right now.
I got into some kind of an altercation with a friend of mine after I arrived home. Whatever the causes (though I can think of many) my approach, my attitude, my behavior pattern wasn’t good. It was bad and negative.
The moment I realized that I was (some times I do realize while I am in the heat of the moment but you feel helpless since its very difficult to handle the emotional charge that too when the charge is negative) bad. I decided then and there that I would not go to the doctor unless my eye gets really bad and there’s a real danger. The constant burning, pain and the itching will keep on reminded of my bad behavior. This reminder will help me not behave like this again. (There’s no guarantee though that this will not be repeated but constant reminders like this helps. This is a process)
The cause which was leading me to the Doctor lead me to decide to not to go to the Doctor..

I am currently Detached