December 13th, 2001
12/15/2001 05:08 a.m.
The Master walked into my consciousness while I was driving back from my office. He normally walks in while I am driving. I, normally succeed in knocking his doors when I am driving. Rest of the time (and this is almost all the time) I am knocked out by my own siblings.
Once, I remember, he walked in unannounced and simply started dictating poems, while I was driving. Obviously, I thought I would jot down when I shall arrive at my office. But, once sat to jot down I was knocked out again. Next day, I thought it wise to keep a cassette recorder handy while I was driving. He obliged dictating me twenty poems in one go in hardly any time. I made it a point and continued keeping the recorder handy whenever I drove, for almost six month. He refused to appear, at least, while I was driving. I think it was me became conscious of the recorder and this consciousness killed the consciousness, a necessary space in the time for him to arrive. Well, I decided to discontinue keeping the recorder, while driving. He recommenced walking in, though the frequency reduced to almost nil.
He walked in yesterday after a long time. He normally would never walk in when I am in a CROWD SITUATION. And he walked in while I was driving back home in the evening, which is rare, since I normally return tired and dejected.
We directly got into conversation, which again is exceptional. Normally, none of us speaks. Its also not possible for me to jot down my perceptions/realizations my being senses in his presence. Sometimes he would open few doors, for me to have a glimpse, in the fifth dimension. Most of the time I would SEE and forget when back to my normal level of so-called awareness, when he is gone.
Yesterday it was me who initiated the dialoguing by posing him a question. A question I knew the answer. I did this on intention for clarity for a close person. I asked him as to why He teaches me differently then he teaches others. ‘ As you know’- he quipped- ‘I have two sets of teachings, and its so obvious, you cant have the same set of teachings for standard one and graduates. Though, there’s hardly anyone who can jump from level one to the other level, because then you have to really jump from one level to the other, undoing what you have been taught at that level and trying and trying incessantly to break the bounds of that level. Well, you just have to INTENT to cross the boundaries and you are in the other level trying to break the bounds.
This is the reason- he added- I teach them discipline, so that they can live a happy social life and justify the purpose of their creation. But those like me, who INTENTS to jump out of these bounds, choose them to BE, I teach differently. I teach them how to BE and SEE and HOW TO BECOME ONE IN ORDER TO ATTAIN WILL. What would you do if you have to teach an ANT COLONY, ashok, he suddenly asked? Can you teach them in your language the stuff I teach you? Can you really communicate with them? Can you make them understand the real knowledge? the unknowable? Can you make them jump the walls? They are all creation of the laws which is what they would be required to defy and this isn’t possible since nature survives on them so far they stick to the laws and process the precious energies the nature feeds on. They have no chance. Individual can strive and find an opening. An individual has no importance in the larger scheme of things. Nature would not care if one or two jumps the wall. ‘Like you jumped’ I said. We both laughed.
He walked out, while I was honking for my guard to open the gates of my house. I entered my house with this question nagging me. What would I do if I have to teach an ant colony? And how would I answer if a member of the ant colony asked me as to the authenticity and wisdom of the other level of teaching?
I would simply Vanish, I thought. They are not capable of any message, unless they choose them selves to BE.

I am currently Calm