The F Word
03/21/2002 02:03 p.m.
Oh, so you are a one of those, Feminists?

People call me a feminist
as if it were a four letter word
stereotyped as an angry woman who must hate men
people want to believe that is why I am
into women's issues,
and address sexism,
and demand respect
but what people don't know is I have earned it

I have been used and abused
by peers and strangers,
young and old,
men and women,
and I have survived
from sexual harassment and abuse
--to peer-pressure encouraging the
objectification other women
--to mental degradation from TV, Cosmo and Calvin Klein ads
--to sex drugs slipped in my drink
--to pressure from my boss to wash dishes after work
--to vulgarities poured like cement as I walk past construction sites
through painful years I lost
innocence,
confidence,
hope,
friends,
power,
opportunities,
relationships,
patience,
and trust...

...feminism wasn't taught to me,
it was a reaction,
a means of empowering myself
when power was abused and
used against me
as a child,
a teen,
and still now as a woman
I have empowered myself
to keep from being a victim
I strive to surround myself
with honesty and wisdom
--people, experience and text--
to improve the quality of my life
as an individual and as a woman
to avoid the environments and people that have hurt me, abused me,
degraded me, used me
and yes, most of the time it was men, though I emphasize most because women too have crossed that line
I have learned what it is like
to feel worthless,
to feel ashamed,
to feel trapped,
to pretend it doesn't hurt, or worse--
to pretend it never happened
but I am not a helpless victim
victimization is a state of mind
that I gave up
when I decided to empower myself

so call me the F word
I will join you in chorus
sing in the face of your ignorant banter
I'll wear it like the scarlet letter
as it was me,
socially tattooed on my chest
as if some social punishment
of a puritan persuasion
but there is no shame
in my womanhood,
my awareness,
my empowerment--oh no!
my skin has thickened,
my mind has opened,
my goals have changed
and as a woman I am taking responsibility
for my self,
my actions,
and my peace of mind
where change begins!


I have come to terms with
my work and my womanhood,
my sexuality and my sex,
my femininity and my feminism
no apologies, no excuses, no warning
I have appropriated the idea of feminism for myself (and embraced empowerment)
but my struggle has not ceased
my healing is not over, but
my feminism is a daily reminder
of what value what I have to offer,
even (or perhaps especially)
after it is taken for granted,
taken advantage of,
or just taken without consent...


if feminism intimidates someone
then perhaps their self worth lies
in the degradation or exploitation of another--in order to have an edge, based on someone's gender, race, class, etc.
so, how do we gain a competitive edge, if the game is fixed and the referee is biased?


perhaps the F should be branded on anti-feminist foreheads to warn the rest of us, and to symbolize
the fear of the weak,
the facade such an ego employs,
the force of ignorance it embodies, or
the failure of social construction


I am advocating feminism on personal terms,
one life lesson at a time
the personal is political
this is one woman's perspective,
David throwing the F word right back
at Goliath
I am currently Fiesty
I am listening to my intuition