Narcissist?
04/10/2017 07:08 a.m.
It's almost a year since my sister got married again. The wedding was interesting but marred by her descent into bridezilladom. Not that I can blame her overly much, our parents are enough to drive a saint to drink.

You'd think they'd have more sense than to bring up the first wedding at the second. But nope, had to rub it in. Nevermind they didn't get to do all the typical parent of the bride stuff the first time because they were being jerks, per norm.

On worse than usual terms with 'rents at the moment, had an awesome ten-ish months of being disowned that didn't stick. Because we helped our friends who were her tenants move and she thus didn't have an excuse to screw them over their deposit. Plus were on hand to see our friend blow up at her over it when they (parents) tried to screw them (friends) over a propane tank they couldn't refill d/t dad installing the wrong type of furnace for a mobile home that was mostly empty when they moved in to start with. And this after she tried to move the new tenants in on top of them while they were moving. Which is also after she used my sister's bridal shower dinner to expose the huge joke of how she stiffed said friends on using 'rents' trailer (and forced us&them to buy a trailer outright) to help move (borrowing said trailer being a pre-requisite to friends' agreement to be out earlier than planned in time for new tenants to move in) because she thought I left her a nasty note and nevermind my nasty notes (of which there have been maybe three or four in forty years) to her span three pages typed minimum detailing exactly how and why she f'd up and never a mere three lines of 'you just suck'. For some reason she was the only one laughing while talking about her 'mistake'. You'd think that might have tipped her off as to it not being funny.

Helped that those friends moved in with us. Bonus that they made an awesome deterrent. And weirdly enough, it felt like having shackles unlocked. I have no compunctions about treating her like the ass she's being. Of course, life can't be that simple tho. Now the issue is that my nephew loves them to pieces and making waves now impacts him.

Not that this bothers her in the slightest. Last fall, my sister asked me to pick neph up from their place because I had to pick up my husband who was housesitting for them while they went on vacation. It's a two+ hour drive one way and she didn't want to have to drive immediately down to get him after already driving a couple hours to get home from vacation in the first place. Guess who threw a fit, threatened to call the cops, told my sister (not me) that I was officially disowned and wasn't allowed at their place and absolutely refused to give up my neph, essentially forcing my sister to waste the next day on driving?

And guess who pretended none of that happened when she thought she could use me to make herself look good at the local museum a couple months later? Bugger of it is that I wouldn't mind doing some things for the museum. I just don't want to touch anything she's involved with. Nobody believes what they're like when I tell them, they just think I'm making shit up until they get in a position where my parents feel like they have the upper hand (mother particularly). Then the claws come out. Even my friends thought I was exaggerating until they had to deal with them as landlords. Then, per norm, they discovered that I actually under reported how nasty they can get. Not sure what's wrong with people, it's not like I like talking about it. Doesn't matter how carefully it's worded, when you talk bad about somebody, no matter how well deserved, people always look at you funny first. Especially when it's a parent. Because parents are supposed to love their kids. Except when they don't.

So neph was over this week. We had to drive past their place on the way to where we were going and he got it in his head he wanted to go see grandma and grandpa. Being 4, this is something that sticks. Ergo, I'm left having to play nice to set a good example even though I still cheerfully want to ring both their necks because 2 hour trip and sister wasn't supposed to be down to get him for another day. He'll figure them out when he gets older, he's smart about patterns like I was. Still, I wouldn't miss either of them if they dropped off the end of the world and I worry about how that's going to end up going for my neph. Maybe they'll die before he gets old enough to figure it out.

But I did find an interesting site particularly detailing some of the crap narcissists pull. It was eyeopening in an oh-god-this-explains-so-much-of-my-life way. Out of 24 examples given, I could pull up 20 personal examples with her that matched near identically and a couple more that were close. Thinking that's the last missing piece I needed. I probably should've made the connection earlier but she's always doing things for other people and I missed the tie-in that it's usually as a lever to give her power over them or to shore up her own self-image. Too close to the problem.
http://parrishmiller.com/narcissists.html


Oh, right. And just so I don't forget the level of crazy the next time a few years go by, let us not forget her snide comment on women who have low voices. Because a woman who has a low voice has to have "parasites" and it can be magically cured with her latest health fad. /head desk/
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