not a poem
10/19/2011 07:13 p.m.
Some days I remember that I'm afraid of being happy
and how I do drugs to wear myself down
so he won't want me, so he'll leave
me wondering what happened.
And how I overeat to build a wall
that separates me from everyone.

My therapist tells me to work on my self-awareness,
to question my motives and
to stop and realize that she hates me
because she wants to be me.
Clearly there is a miscommunication here.
I don't even want to be me.