?
09/29/2010 04:19 a.m.
i don't know that i know what is going on anymore. what is more, i don't know what exactly it is that i feel anymore, if its anger, or hatred, or self-hatred. i don't know if it is just the unknowing of what i understand to be true in my feelings.

i just want to be able to feel and know what it is that i feel. i guess the drinking doesn't help, but i don't know how to change habitual actions....

and frankly, i don't know that i can forgive the things and the people i am supposedly supposed to forgive. i can tell the sincere apologies from the insincere, and for those that are insincere you can go f* yourself