The Equinox, and school
09/21/2009 07:37 a.m.
Sunrise tomorrow morning, I'm going to the river to celebrate the fall equinox. I've been carrying a stone, and allowing my grief to pour out of me into it. In the morning, I'll cast it into the water, releasing the toxicity of the difficulties from the past two years and the sadness into the universe. What's supposed to come back is whatever it is the universe means for me to experience next. School is one thing; moving is another. I don't know if I'm ready, but ready or not, it's no big deal. If I'm not, I'll just work through it again, release it at the next equinox and go on from there.

I'm not numbing my way through this by seeking the glow of infatuation or new romance. I'm simply allowing myself to be, allowing the tears to come whenever they will, and pouring myself into the stone.

School starts tomorrow, too, and I find it auspicious that the first day of school is also the first day of autumn. I'll be going four days a week this term, Mon and Wed are one class and on Tues and Thurs, 2 classes. It's going to be busy, but I like my classes - Intro to Psychology, Philosophical Problems, and math.

This Friday, I turn 47. I'm just not saying it outloud. Maybe if I tiptoe quietly enough, I won't have to mark the passing of another year with no real goal in sight.

I've been sad, but I don't think I've been depressed exactly. This loss has really taken the wind from me, that's for sure. The ebb and flow of it...yikes.

Just going to take it one day at a time (as if there was really any other way to do it...heh) and when Joy steps in for a visit, my greeting will be with grateful, open arms.

I'm kind of back, but I'm still not feeling very sociable. Please forgive any comments I may have missed or poems I didn't read. I'll catch up at some point, I will.

I am currently: loopy from prometrium
Listening to: my dogs sigh in their dreams