why i haven't been here...or just excuses.
07/27/2009 09:08 p.m.
my activity here has been scarce. not just my writing, but my reading of other's work as well.

life has been handing me lemons.

i have been put on an anti-depressant because my family doctor things i'm manic. that i suffer from mania. that i'm a maniac. this is like defeat for me, a mind over matter person. my consumption of his prescription of Paxil is hit and miss. mostly because i forget to take it, mostly because i feel i don't need too.

last month, i had ecoli...in my kidneys. i went 4 days without consuming a drop of food because i couldn't. i lost 10 lbs. in those 4 days. i gained some of my appetite back but it lingered on for about 3 weeks.

last week, i moved out and back into my parents after being broken. i also had to go to the ER because within a matter of 2 hours i lost my voice. i had no voice for 3 days. thank you sinus infection. since then, i've become a "tuna" as my mother as put it and moved out of my parents house and back to where i left. sucker.

and now, the biggest thing...a month ago, my father told me about some medical issues he was having and how they think he has colon cancer. there isn't anything i wouldn't do for my padre. i would give him my heart and die so he could live. and now, that just may be the case. i've already got it instilled in my head that he has cancer. and if he really does have cancer, then i've already started planning his funeral. TOMORROW is the day. he has his test tomorrow and then we'll know either way for sure.


i love and miss you all. thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.