[053] scraps
07/27/2009 04:13 p.m.

nobody wants to be the one to feel sick, achy alone: lonesomeness they tell me is the
final taboo --no one discusses disconnect and no one properly discusses shame.

best when: vitamins, good food, sleep. is this above and beyond? admittedly this whole
time we have been explaining away guilt. we will never marry. we will regret this missed
opportunity. we are afraid because of how much this discomfort troubles us and by how
much it does not trouble anyone else. we talk shit.

and by god what is this noise? bang, crumble, crush, onomatopoeia! and i know big words!
pretty wien boys with pretty wien eyes, so respectful -- and yet so not. preferring
faithfulness in principle -- emphasis on the latter. in principle! and all the lights
stutter and seizure, should we be warned? remember: miles upon fifty thousand miles --
why so much for you the number five? forever! -- highways to unexplored bits of the
midwest hey! HEY! I will put the money down. exchange rate? who knows. entirely confused
by cultural differences and fuck the human condition and the absurdity of existence. you
want no one to take you seriously, then you curse and bring up sex. victorian? hell if i
know. late at night in giant lit up rows of computers. it is three or four a.m. and i
will be unable to sleep -- both of us up with the wind, the sun, and admittedly NO! none
of the lights work.