Grateful
03/01/2009 07:30 p.m.

I am so grateful for the friendships here. I can't even begin to express, with any sort of accuracy, the gratitude I felt this morning when I logged on and there were such loving and encouraging comments. I know we all don't get to have coffee, or get together to discuss the latest books we're reading, or get to hang out at all. But I do feel a real sense of love and support, and I just want you all to know how much I appreciate it.

My son cleaned the kitchen this morning, and then hugged me. He and Jeremiah will remain friends, and that's a good thing, but he expressed his distress that I was hurt in the end, and how he didn't like it. For a 17 year old, he's quite generous with his love for me, and I'm so grateful.

I have an appointment with my counselor in Portland later this afternoon, and then I think I'm going to take my mother to dinner. The 1 1/2 hr drive through the Columbia Gorge to get from where I live in The Dalles to Portland is so pretty, especially this time of year with the rain and the rainbows - visions of promise for brighter days - perfect.

Instead of feeling alone this morning, I feel nurtured and blessed.

In a way, it's nice that Jeremiah took so long to actually go. We were able to process a lot of the hurt and disappointments we were feeling with kindness and caring. I will always feel fortunate on that count. We did something probably unconventional last night (although I don't really know if other couples do this or not, I just know I never have before) - we went on a goodbye date. We went to dinner and then to a play that my uncle is in, so that our final goodbye didn't have to be at my house - so we wouldn't leave that sad and draining energy here where I have to keep living. I, personally, thought it was rather brilliant of us. And it worked, at least for now. I didn't feel that lingering emptiness after a relationship ends from the missing person and their missing possessions.

Well, I'd better button this up - gotta get ready for the trip to Portland.

I am currently: hopeful
Listening to: Jaya Lakshmi