discipline
02/26/2009 04:43 p.m.
chasing after someone who fundamentally doesn't want me. someone said it's because it's safe. but how is it safe? safe because it can never happen? safe would be something that i'm guaranteed to not get hurt doing. but i'm never safe..i'm always out to hurt myself. if there's a will, i'll find a way.

take too long to answer a message.
turn your head when i try to kiss you.
walk away when i put my arms around you.
go to your boyfriend.
cheat on your boyfriend with someone else.

what the hell am i doing? i get a little attention, a little kiss and squeeze, and that must mean it will continue. it won't go away. i'll just get used to it and then feel rejected when it does. who am i?

i feel ridiculous chasing after you. everyone is watching.



Thursday Feb 26, 2009
Use discipline
Discipline is one of your most powerful tools. Use it to your advantage.
Discipline is nothing more than controlling your own behavior. And you've been doing that your whole life.
You have the power to make your own choices and to follow those choices. So make those choices the ones that will raise your life to greater and greater heights.
Every day you have the opportunity to grow stronger. Every moment you have the opportunity to make solid progress.
Use the discipline that is yours to seize those opportunities. Exercise the sweet control over your own actions that will bring great fulfillment to your days.
In discipline is enormous power to which you already have access. Choose to use it, again and again, and there is no limit to the rewards it will bring.




i don't have discipline. i let myself run wild with my emotions. throwing myself at people. tossing my own heart around like a baseball. won't someone catch it? but no one does. this outfield metaphor is stupid.
I am currently Alienated
I am listening to 'stuck in the middle with you' - stealer's wheel