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The Journal of Meghan Helmich manic
02/09/2009 08:08 p.m.
i'm manic again, just washed over me like it always does. i'll be getting my period on or around next weekend, so i'm not surprised by this episode. but it's embarassing. i told julio and he came over to give me a hug and says 'i've never seen you this way before.' and i just feel stupid. and helpless because i can't control this crap. at least not in these circumstances.
and i always get it here at work, where i'm sitting and i can't do anything but bang out a bunch of loans at an inhuman speed because it's all i can do to keep myself from flipping out. i feel like i need to get into a fight and run a mile and cry all at once.
it will go away eventually. soon, i'm sure. but it feels like an eternity. i just keep clenching and unclenching my fists. it's just that no one gets it.
| Member Comments on this Entry |
| Posted by Vikki Owens on 02/10/09 at 02:42 PM meghan, i've seen you post a few times in the bell jar...maybe you should post about this there, because i know for a fact that quite a few people in that circle deal with mania. i myself have episodes of hypomania (which is nothing compared to what you are going through, but disturbing to me none-the-less)....there are people who will understand there...and its always good to reach out....take care... |
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