Reality
12/06/2008 12:08 p.m.

It's sad, when what is being said doesn't equal what is happening right before my very eyes. I can't reconcile the two, and what is actually taking place is so much more compelling than the things being said.

Perhaps I was a fool to even hope that it would be any different in the final analysis. It's just that it would have been so much less painful for him to have simply said, "I think I need to do this alone" than for him to try to maintain how he wanted us to remain an engaged couple, all the while making the choices a single person makes. I wonder sometimes what would happen if he had a journey of his own.

I promised him that I would attend at least one session of couple's counseling, but I'm pretty certain that nothing short of a miracle will salvage what I once thought was a future with him.

I'm exhausted.