stitch
12/01/2008 01:35 p.m.
it's a sport for you, taking someone new and turning her exactly into what you want. with charm and analysis. what does she need to hear? what are her weaknesses? how can i play off of those to my advantage? push the right buttons, turn myself into the idol - a strong heroing image of the savior and the lover. flirt shamelessly and show my own weaknesses, just enough to gain mutual trust. make her feel like she understands me. make her feel like she has some kind of influence on me. take what i want. continue process to continue to take what i want. take no responsibility for emotional mess.

i bet i could sit back and watch you do it to someone else. oh what torture that would be. i am certain i would fall apart.

i can't trust what kelly told me on thanksgiving. that brianna had been feeding justin information about my feelings. betraying everything i'd ever told her. that kelly understood the situation and that she knows how i feel and that it's okay, but that i need to let it go. be his friend. because i am his friend. kelly is known to be quite the sidewinder. quite the snake in the grass. i blame the vodka for the emotion i allowed her to see. i can't trust her, either.

emotional celibacy. physical celibacy. i don't need you. you don't need me. there is no necessity to this life. the life around you.
I am currently Alienated
I am listening to 'stuck on you' - elvis