Life
11/20/2008 06:14 p.m.

Knocking me for a loop lately. I wish I could talk specifics. Secret demons that I've been blind-sided by. Stuff I thought I'd safeguarded myself against. Stuff I really wish I didn't have to deal with. Overshadowing what should, otherwise, be an entirely happy time, what with the recent engagement, my daughter home from the navy for a month, the birth of my grandson, the holidays here and starting school next term.

I feel myself becoming angry about having to deal with it as a priority when, really, my life without a relationship is really pretty uncomplicated.

Having some pretty serious conversations with myself about the viability of this whole chapter of my lovelife, and very nearly ready to close the book altogether. I'm too old for angst; too old, maybe, for "sticking it out" during yet another someone's recovery process. Disappointed in myself for, somehow, not seeing the red flags waving on the wall of addiction. And knowing that my ultimate responsibility, before I even think of my own wellbeing, is to my children.

Damn this.


I am currently Frustrated
I am listening to a potential future of solitaire