my best has gotta be good enough for someone else besides me.
06/12/2008 03:51 a.m.
Whenever I hear someone say "good things happen to good people", I seriously just want to punch them in the face. That is the biggest crock of shit I've ever heard. I have never seen it happen. The same thing goes with the whole karma thing too..."what goes around comes around." Yeah, um, NO.

I consider myself a good person, with a good heart. Infact, after today, I am a GREAT person with a GREAT heart. (I got myself out of a bad situation and saved my ex's ass as well.) I have done good things for people only to get shit on in return. By getting shit on, I don't mean, the favor has gone unnoticed or unreturned, I mean shit on. Like the person who I helped or what not totally screws me over. How my heart is still so good is beyond me. I have had enough stuff happen to me that if someone would say "What Would Jesus Do", well, Jesus would have gotten up and said "Fuck this".

Don't get me wrong, I get upset and angry and hold grudges and have vendettas but for whatever reason, my heart won't let me fuck someone over like they will to me.

The point of this isn't how I did a good deed today, so give me a cookie.

It's that I don't always have all the answers all the time and yes, it bothers me and yes, I look to other people for guidance. And to be completely honest, I don't listen to what people tell me to do sometimes because I want to try and make own decision, and quite often, those decisions are mistakes. But you know what, I'm okay with that. I'm a fall flat on my face kinda person.

I'm just frustrated because I am trying my best and trying to do what I feel is best for me and my situation. I wish people would see that. Give me a little credit where credit is deserved. Just because I don't listen to your advice or mess up, don't make me feel bad. Remember, it's advice I asked for. Advice can be taken or left. And I'm grown now. I don't have to answer to anyone but myself.

All I ask is that you stand by my side and support my decision or mistake or what not. You don't have to pick me up when I fall, just dust me off.

Sometimes looking out for number one means looking out for someone else.
I am currently Frustrated
I am listening to Oh Atlanta - Alison Krauss