The Journal of Sarah Boom Time Marches On
06/09/2008 06:20 a.m.
Hello my blog reading friends! As many of you have noticed, I haven't had much to write about lately. I guess in part because I don't do anything besides sit around watching Andrew and his friends play video games, or Dragon Ball Z...and in part, because being pregnant makes doing crazy blog worthy things like traveling, or drinking impossible to do. So, instead of doing all these crazy, wild things, that you'd love to read about..I've been sitting here reflecting on life. I never would have imagined, when I was 17 and on my own, that this is where life would have led me. I was so thrilled to be able to make my own rules, and follow my own path..I never could have imagined that 5 years later I would be hundreds of miles from all the people I loved, creating a child with one of my best friends in the world. If you would have told me that back then, I would have thought you were crazy. Life has had so many twists and turns over the last five years, that I feel like Its been a non-stop ride. I have moved from house to house, from state to state, and back more times than I'd care to count. I've gone from being homeless, to helping homeless friends, to needing to be helped again myself. I've had my not so proud moments, like getting arrested, and staying with a man who didn't treat me the way I deserved to be treated. I stuck around and dealt with abuse in every sense of the word. However, I've also had my proud moments. I graduated high school, and even though I dropped out of college, I did manage to go in the first place after taking a year off. I've battled low grade cancer of the cervix, I've battled depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety. Ive had just about every social phobia one could ever imagine, and I spent three years of my life self inflicting wounds. It's really sad to think, that now a days I look back and laugh on the things that I almost thought were worth dying over. Even worse, is knowing that there are people out there who've actually died for less. I'm so glad that those years weren't my last, because I've had so much good happen in my life since then. We've all had hard lives, and lived through our own forms of personal tragedy. It's what we do to get through those things that are important.
During the past 3 years or so, I've taken some of my worst enemies and turned them into the best friends I've ever had. I've also had some of the best friends in my life, walk out on me in my time of need. I've been erased and replaced, more times than I care to count..and when I was younger, that would have cut me to the core, but now that I'm older I understand that your TRUE FRIENDS are the ones who will always be there for you. I've answered phone calls at 3 a.m. from a dead slumber for friends, I've answered the DOOR in similar situations. I've lent out my couch, my bed, my home, my phone, my car, and just about everything else you could imagine. I believe with all my heart that everyone needs someone to turn to in a time of need. I don't care if its a friend of a family member, or someone you just know will be there, if people couldn't turn to each other there would be no hope left. I will always be here for those who need me, and I know that I have a few friends who will always be there for me as well. No matter what happens in life. No matter how many people disappoint you, let you down, walk out on you, use you, hurt you, erase you from their lives like you were nothing...No matter how many times that happens, there are always going to be new people, and new friends you can count on. As much as people hate to realize it, time will always march on. Nothing we ever do or say, will stop that. So if you think today is hard, reflect on yesterday, tomorrow, last year, or next. Regardless of how bad things are now, they've been better, and will be once again. You just have to have faith.
Peace and Love
Sarah
(and baby Emma) I am currently Tired
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