a fascinating study in me
06/08/2008 02:37 a.m.
so here's a quick update:


after four years of highs and lows of college life, I have graduated with a bachelor of fine arts in performance (essentially acting).

This is what I ultimately learned in my four years:


1. there is an energy between good actors, a very intangible energy in terms of describing, but it is teachable to harness this energy, I discovered with my final thesis for my Honors degree. I basically wrote over 50 pages figuring this all out and will spend the rest of my life developing a teaching process to teach this because too often in my education my teachers simply said "some actors just have this quality and it isn't teachable".

2. Life isn't fair, but if you persevere, no one can deny you your goals (it sounds a bit cliche, I know, but I worked real hard, and I eventually achieved every goal i set for myself in college, much like I did in high school. The Real World can't be much different.

3. I am just as good as anybody else, regardless of what any "qualified" person says, because I have begun to doubt all qualified people (much to the complaining of "qualified" people).



It hasn't even been a month yet, and I am using my degree in the following way:

1. I am directing my old high school's summer theatre musical. I have assistant directed every show since graduating, and this year I was offered the head director job after the head director retired from the position. After directing stuff in college (for classes) I have realized just how tough directing high school is. But teaching students and seeing them grow as artists is far more worth the success of working with professionals at times (and other times its frustrating as hell. Ying/Yang I suppose).

2. I am preparing to open my own theatre company this fall. I have a season picked out. And I think I can do it. Maybe I'm idealistic, but I think I can.

3. One of the teachers at my university asked me to audition for a show next year. I probably will. She basically hinted at which role I would get, and I think I would do a good job at the role.





and here's some recent events or things coming up for me:

my mother's appendix burst over memorial day weekend. she had surgery and is doing fine, it was just an intense night.

my father is seemingly falling into a paranoid, alcoholic crazed out downward spiral, but with the work of my mother and his therapist, it is possible that he may be getting help soon.

my wedding is exactly three weeks from today, and i can't wait.

my future in-laws are remodeling their house, i've been helping, and it's starting to get to the point where things are getting finished, rather than still needing to get started, so that's exciting.

I'm starting to draw again, which I haven't really done at all except doodling in notebooks during "textbook" classes.



Hmm. I think that's about it.

so many doors are closing in my life lately, and a billion more are opening. it's just a matter of closing my eyes and blindly walking through a door and seeing where it takes me.