The Breaking Point
01/27/2008 05:28 p.m.
I haven't reached my breaking point just yet, and I'm trying to remain calm. Everyone keeps telling me things will work out, but considering I have been homeless before, I'm just going to prepare myself for the worst, and HOPE for the best. I don't know how things will turn out. All I can hope is that there is a miracle or a guardian angel watching over us, and they decide that everything will be okay. I know that everything happens for a reason, I have a hard time believing otherwise anymore, but I just can't fathom the reasoning. Perhaps it's just too far out of my grasp. In fact, I'm certain it is. If god wanted me to know his plans, I guess life would have come with an instruction manual, and unless my mother forgot it at the hospital the day I was born, I don't think that I have one. Wouldnt it be awkward if every moment of your life was just written in a book somewhere and you happened upon it one day, would you read it and find out what happened to you during your life? I dont think thats possible. I think we all come with several books, and the choices we make are what actually write them. I don't know really though. All I do know is that I'm putting my faith in people, and in a god that up until recently I wasn't sure existed. I'm still not sure, but I'm making an effort. I'm learning, I'm praying, I'm trying. It's a weird feeling, talking to someone that you can't see, or feel. But, nonetheless it gives me an overwhelming calm, and as Andrew said, if god weren't real, then talking to a wall would give you that same feeling. I guess I never really thought about that before...Hmmm...

Anyways, we found a house yesterday. It was cute, small, quaint, and amazing. It's the same price as it is here, they are making an exception just for us and allowing the cats, its got central heat and air (which we dont have here) they pay water, and the best part is, that its right by town. In fact its like a 4 minute drive to walmart. I mean, it sure beats living here with a theiving landlord. The only issue is that if we get this place we have to wait a while to come up with the cash because Andrews taxes will take a week or two, and theres no way we can procrastinate that long. I am hoping that his momma will lend us the money and we can pay her back with his taxes. I don't forsee it happening any other way. I hate getting help from anyone but right now times are tough. We've been busting our asses applying everywhere without a single call back. Andrew has 2 years managerial experience, and I have years of retail. It shouldnt be too hard to find a job, and yet for some reason it is. Right now I forsee our options as such...either we find a way to get this place, we pay the landlord and continue to get assfucked, we DONT pay the landlord and become homeless, or we move to Florida to live in an RV with Andrews momma and stepdad while they look for a house. So....

Cross your fingers, toes, and eyes. Pray for us. Wish on 11:11...
We need all the help we can get.

Peace, Love, and Fighting Cats
Sarah Elaine
I am currently Bummed