Random Incoherent Thoughts
10/18/2007 08:42 p.m.
Theres a song in my head, and it reminds me of you. I can't figure out why, because theres no connection. The song is a catchy jingle, and believe me darling, if you were a jingle, you'd be far from a catchy one. The song is that of a newer breed, from a band I'd until now never heard of. Something that is none too unfamiliar to me. I strive in finding the hidden things of the world. Hidden talent, hidden music, hidden beauty, and yes, even hidden selves. I myself, am one of the hidden selves. What does that mean? If I knew, I'd tell you. I think that it means I've kept secrets from even myself. How does one go about that you ask? Well it's a careful and cautious task, and it cannot be explained. I suppose I could try to explain it to you, but my concern is that not the explanation, but the theory itself would be too complex to comprehend, let alone share, and that my brain would simple deflate like an old balloon, causing my death. We wouldn't want that to happen now would we? I assure you, there are some people who would in fact rejoice in that moment, and take the time to dance upon my grave. I haven't many enemies, but I have even fewer friends. I lose myself in a world of imagination, and distance where things always go my way...or never go my way, depending on my mood. Today however I feel sadness, depression, and darkness...just another downfall of being a bipolar female I suppose. As if I don't get moody enough on my own. I didnt need help with that! Today however, my mind can't stop thinking of this one specific image. Just a crystal clear ocean, with rocks and waterfalls, and a beautiful pink and orange sunset. I wish that life were that way. I wish it was all as easy as sunsets, and waterfalls. The reality is that those things rarely are a reality...ironic, no? My reality is a little more like a black tar pit with dying creatures inside slowly tortured to death, while being gnawed on by bigger, meaner animals, admist an ice storm in the dead of winter...What a terrible reality it is. However, I strive to change that for myself one day. Ive spent 21 long years on this earth, and while it may seem like very few, I've lead a life most people only see in horror films, or on lifetime movies.
But for now, my ramblings have lost any logical meaning, and I've tired of typing. I shall leave you all alone with your own thoughts of your fantasy world...<3
I am currently Bummed