Dear World
10/09/2007 06:44 p.m.
Here I sit, in the shadows of the evening sun. The light is glowing overhead, but still that isn't enough, so I touch the lamp behind the speaker, and slowly with three taps, it too has a bright shine emerging. My speaker is on, but there is no music playing, which for me, is a first. My life could probably be defined using song titles from 80's hair bands. I've been having a rough time lately, and today I read a blog that really touched my soul, it made me want to write this. So while I've never attempted anything like this, here goes...



My Dearest world--

It seems as though the warm embrace I once felt by you as the rays of sunshine poured down upon me are long gone now, and all I can feel is a desolate cold front whisking through you, that eventually seems to settle upon the tip of my nose making it feel as though any facial movement i now make, is in slow motion. However, As I sit in my first floor apartment, staring out the window at the night, I slowly see the golden leaves begin to fall from the trees. The signs are showing, summer is gone now, and the cold fall air pierces my lungs as I breathe it in. It's a desolate feeling. Falling leaves, dying trees, the vibrance of summer has gone, leaving me feeling as cold and Grey as the sky now is. Its nearing 8 p.m. and the sun is slowly fading behind the shop across the street. The open sign never turns off, even in the darkest hours of the night. The sun shine often overshadows the neon sign, so as the sun slowly falls into its night sleep, I often notice it's gentle flicker. Is that relevant, well my friends, isn't everything? My palms are sweaty now, and every smack of the key ends with a gentle slippage of my fingers. I can't help but wonder why it is I'm not making more mistakes, then I realize that it's because I was brought up this way, raised into the technological age. I was taught not to screw up here. Then I cant help but wonder, why we aren't taught that about every aspect of life? Why is it that failure is such a death sentence emotionally? We are taught as a child that mistakes are okay, that pencils have erasers, paper has two sides, and even that stains come out. So why is it, as children grow older, we are forced to write in pen, only on one side of the paper, and that if we spill something we had better damn well know how to clean it. As children society is so understanding of us, and our mistakes. It's to be expected of us then. And yet, as years go by, we grow older, and wiser, and apparently with time, and age, mistakes are no longer a part of daily life. As we do continue to make mistakes, our self esteem, our ego's, our sense of pride, are all suddenly put into question. Suddenly, with One mistake, our lives could be over. If an accountant makes a mistake, his client could lose millions of dollars, if a chef makes a mistake, someone could die of food allergies, and if a taxi driver makes a mistake, innocent lives may be lost. What are the odds? Why is it NOT okay for us to error anymore? isn't to err, human? Or was that just another thing we were taught in our youth, to make us feel alright about mistakes??

The sun has gone down for the evening now, it's still not 8 pm...the cat sits on the window ledge staring outside, dreaming of what i can only assume, is a life outdoors. Who can blame her. Sitting on this computer every day, has become more like a death sentence than a hobby. When all else fails, there's always something to do on the world wide web. There are always people waiting and willing to talk to you about anything. People telling you how to live your life, where to live it, why to live it, and who to live it for. We no longer need to encounter door to door religious activists, we get their testaments in our inbox daily. Worried that you'll never be able to afford the newest video games or software? No worries, there are people who illegally download them for free, and sell them to you for a profit. Does your wife no longer satisfy you? It's simple, check your spam email, and I'm sure there are at least 1,546 emails from porn bots. Our world has as adults become nothing but technology, food, sex, and adultery. What kind of world is this? How do they prepare you for this as children? Why do we allow our lives to be run this way? Has it really come down to it world, that even you, no longer care?

I am currently Tired
I am listening to The sound of silence