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The Journal of A. Paige White hey baby, wanna go for a ride?
09/04/2007 09:05 p.m.
Wheeling up in the parking lot
yeah baby!
even better, would you fly me away in your big jet plane? I'm thinking
How's it going?
ok...
just wondering since you're all dressed in black...
every day, bill, everyday...What are YOU doing?
Glenda thinks I'm working.
laughing I won't tell her. It will be our secret.
Sure do miss her. Sure do miss them.
He gave me an internal and external smile though and for that I'm so grateful.
Reflections
Going back a little through some of my poetry, it dawned on me just how much we argue. It actually stunned me. As I think back to the last three times we've argued, it seems he's jumping on little silly things, molehills and blowing them into mountains. More frequently. Less of a molehill, more of a mountain. A forward about reconciliation Saturday and nothing since. Nothing. Nothing personal then. Waiting on me again, to apologize. And of course, I did. Like I wound up doing for not snuggling in my sleep. I should have realized... if that would cause days of no communication, how much more would a misworded email? a presumptuous email? When the few communications we've had have been very disjointed, I got little from them in the way of understanding ANYTHING, how was I not to?Top it off with Jarrod going to jail and I get this awful cold/flu bug....I am being expected to be superwoman. I am expected to handle all the pressures I face in my life and comfort him in his without knowing what's going on that's got him so supersensitive. that's it in a nutshell.
How am I supposed to do this?
how?
I can't live up to it anyway. no can do. even on a good day. A day without flu.
Well, I read through the book of Hebrews up to Chapter 11 and after watching Bob's video today, I will just put all these concerns back in God's hands and finish it off , then I've got to go read that about Elijah...I knew Moses wasn't allowed to enter the promised land. I don't guess I've ever read that about Elijah! I never thought about how wonderful it was of God/Jesus to invite them to His mount of transfiguration after He'd had to stop them from entering into certain promises before their death but gave them great honor there. Fascinating stuff. What a gracious God He is!
I am currently Sad
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