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The Journal of A. Paige White Outside
08/26/2007 05:22 p.m.
the circle of their confidences
outside I guess to stay
though for a visitation hour
I could bring an hour today
but should I?
I am not welcomed, in the know
Until the badge knocked at the door
In closet hidden with fear
his sister felt his knees
The badge is at the door for you
I will not badger for admittance
I will stay where in my place I'm put
but neither will I venture
past those wounding barbs
those calls were not for me
outside the circle
Why?
Because I would have been
again
the enforcer
a court date to keep
It's all out of my hands now.
All of it
Bigger hands than mine
hold every moment's outcome
for those inside
and those
outside
Do I kick it up a notch?
What do I do?
Do I give them the deluxe version of their exclusion?
or continue to stand where the barbs of their circle pierce their mother's heart?
Do I press into those barbs?
Shall I just give them what they seem to want?
Jesus, what do you want me to do?
I need to KNOW what you want. I need you to give me the strength and courage to do your will. Whatever that is. Jesus, what do you want me to do?
I am currently Detached
I am listening to Monster trucks
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