rounding third, heading for home plate
08/03/2007 03:47 a.m.
I don't write in here much, but I've got thoughts at the moment, so I'm going to dispense of them into this journal like a memory into a pensieve (for you Harry Potter fans out there)...


I've been thinking alot lately about my grandmother was died. Not really about her before her death, but as she died and directly after her death.

Now, I know religion requires faith, and I have faith, but death still scares me. I sit here and think. I'm 21. already. I was five yesterday. Time used to stretch on forever. Summer vacations used to last an eternity. Now I realize that a few months of vacation from school is just a small inhalation in the breathing process.

Essentially: time is moving against me. Optimistically, I have roughly 50-60 years left in my body, in optimal conditions. Maybe more, maybe less. But with how fast time moves now, that 60 years will be like 60 minutes. This scares me.

I have one more year of school, and part of me doesn't want to waste that year. Some people are afraid of graduating from college and facing the real world. Ha. "the real world". But I want to crash into it at full speed. I want to make some great, new theatre. I want to dabble in film and television to leave some sort of recorded archive of my work. I want to teach as many others as I can about this crazy craft called acting because it's an amazing experience, connecting to a large audience, holding them in your hand, and guiding them through a dramatic situation. I want to add to the dialogue of acting theorists my two cents, and have it mean something.

I read a small book that was, in reality, an advertisement for a religious magazine. but in this book, the mantra was "Expect miracles, get a miracle". I have to expect great things will happen to me if I'm to have any chance of it. and i believe that.

but that stupid time, it's going against me. Sigh. One more year of school left. I can make it.
I am currently Brooding