Are you really alive or do you just live?
08/13/2006 01:49 a.m.
Now when faced with the question....Are you really ALIVE? Or are you just living?
Alive would be when everything counts, each and every moment, sort of like knowing you are going to die and sucking the life out of each second that passes. Just living is more like spending your seconds passing the time until you can truly come alive.
You know getting up, getting dressed, cooking breakfast, don't really care....it does not matter.
Passing time, reading something; taking your mind off of what you are really thinking about.....knowing that if you don't you may go mad.
Waiting for the next thing that needs be done, or doing things that don't really need to be done....to take your mind off what you are really thinking about because it is driving you mad.
The thing that you think about all the time.....really being alive. Just living used to be so easy.
What have I done to myself? I am not sure I like who I have become. It was so much easier being numb.

I am currently Anxious
I am listening to my thoughts I wish they would shut up