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The Journal of A. Paige White Bouquets of Blame
07/08/2006 04:04 p.m.
Gathered from a garden
Filled with paths of days
trees overshadowing the paths, light and dark
ponds of schooling fish
flashing and darting in the twilight hours
of my mind
to blame
what is blame?
I must investigate the concept, wring from it every bloodied drop...
the reason for casting blame would be perceived pain?
the breath of inspiration, strangled
unless as in our human condition, pain is so much a part of life
and death
we perceive that pain is a catalyst, neither good nor evil, it just is.
simply what it is, while pain is the result of an action or a series of thoughts we find uncomfortable in our customary comfort zones. If we are calcified, as bones, and the bone get broken (though we are designed to remain fluid and flowing in time and experience)was that a bad thing? Or is it a harbinger? We can't know. Until we've passed through it, til it comes to pass, and we have the perspective the experience gains us, we're still walking blindly in a garden, gathering our bouquets of blame, perhaps, if understood correctly, the greatest catalyst for good...
break these bones, so calcified,
trailing tears no longer fluid, but immovable
cast into a mould by the world around me and the possible
misconceptions so taken for granted.
Lead me in paths of truth that I may gain
a heart with no bouquet of blame
to lay, but let me lay on graves
my gratitude.
The graves of those I've murdered
because they've caused me pain
for those who linger to bouquet my transition
with their preferred bouquets of blame
are more deeply engraved with redundant futilities
tombstones-signposts-markers- proudly displayed
in actions taken and words given
in writings so calcified...
only a breaking could redeem
aren't the unforgiving already dead and calcified
stuck in stasis
though apparently animated
like a bouqet in a vase
there's no real life in it
It's dead, but appears to be alive.
we're intended to be fluid, not only in our bodies which are mostly mass of water
but we look so solid
surely we're not intended to flow.
He took me into the rainbow, where He is. Always. That's why some revelation texts reveal they see emerald. Their perceptions are colored that way, but He IS the rainbow. It's solely dependant on what your perceptions are, that's all you can see of His beauty. It's not that His beauty is limited or flawed or illogical or imprecise. WE are. It's not that He is not beautiful, as some suggest. The flaw is found in the perception, not in the object perceived. The reflections of those I disagree with are true. They are true reflections of what is perceived. The perception is untrue because the ability to perceive new or fuller revelations is disengaged. THAT'S where the error is. hmmmph... only God can fix that. Certainly not fixable through a mere mortals words, even if undergirded by hope. Now if the gift of faith is given, and a prayer is written while holding that faith of God in plain view, how could it not accomplish what it was sent for? And it's possible to perceive the answer was never given or a negative one instead, when in fact it was answered, but it's a rainbow answer and not just emerald green. This is all way too much for me. I am in over my head. You've taken me into deep deep places Adonai. I never suspected. How could I? My perceptions were emerald green and you are the rainbow. Thank you for the abilities inherent in the great gift of faith, for faith is the greatest gift of all. I can do all things through my God. It is true, I just couldn't see it. Til I entered the rainbow sparkling with the dews of heaven (I believe it is manna, uncalcified) like diamonds.
I am currently Bemused
I am listening to Glorious
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