We Need to Decide to Decide
04/18/2006 10:09 p.m.

April 13th, 2006


I woke up at 5/5:15 a.m. as usual, and as it has been unintentionally happening, I suggested another five minutes of sleep.

But it was different today. I refused to fall prey to my own suggestion. I knew one of my lethargic selves was tricking me. I refused to indulge in this tricky suggestion of five more minutes. “I must get up at once,” I decided, and I did.

Why was today different than yesterday or the day before when I woke up at 5:00, but getting up at 6:30/6:45, eventually?

Yesterday evening, despite feeling tired, I decided to decide. I decided to write my journal and type along with the one I wrote three days ago. Driven by this weak but useful intentional drive of decision-making, I came back at almost 10 p.m. to my study after my bath and dinner and having spent some time with my family, and did what I had decided to. Over and above, I also sent an email to a friend, subsequently returning to my bed reading a little before I fell asleep.

Yes, the difference lies in the charge of the energies we derive from our own UNDOINGS in the process of DOING. We need to decide to decide, a decision every now and then.