AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
03/29/2006 03:16 a.m.
There are parts. I see parts there that make me want to vomit. Parts that feel so utterly sick, like innerscum maybe, when I think about them. Parts that are SO fucking IGNORANT and frustrating and BLIND! Fucking BLIND! And nothing will change beause in that mind there is only one that counts, and that all encompassing one is right and grown by default, or so the theory goes. I realize this is cryptic, let that be said, and let it not be a reflection on my coherencey as a whole. But GOD!! I don't look at that particular site all that much but when I do, I usually enjoy it. But this time... I mean FUCK! In the face of all the people who are gently saying "well, think about it...." But no! Nothing! Not a fucking twitch. What is this? What is it, the last and final step in evolution? God's finished and perfect creation? Is there not more to learn from the people OUTSIDE of ones head, or does the singular fact that your thought is a thought make it right to believe it is the only real way for you. It is a FALSE way to establish identity. It is a FALSE way to say "This is who I am and this is what I believe in." Instead of asserting one's humanity and dignity, it seems that it is just to say "This is all I am and all I will ever become and I'm PROUD of this determinate growth, so FUCK OFF." Is that right? Is that progress? Pathetic. It is fucking pathetic. That seems to be the ONLY way there is for this one to feel as if there is a sense of stability or an identifiable whole, for this mind. What a fucking waste. NO it does not mean deny what you are, it means EMBRACE what you are and learn from the people around you instead of believe that everyone BUT you is ignorant and stupid. That there is nothing inside of their heads that is of any worth directly or indirectly. That pretentious, presumptuous attitude, that disgusting self-propaganda and the over-bearing pushing, pushing, pushing into the spot so that there can be maybe one tiny iota of recognition... What is worth being recognized for?

WHAT IS A PERSON IF THEY COMPLETELY RELIQUISH GROWTH?! If you are done shaping and learning you might as well be dead!! Who cares how many grammy's or gold metals or pages of pullitzer prize winners?! Who cares?! You are DEAD if you think you are done evolving, DEAD if you think there is nothing to gain from anyone else around you. DEAD. There is nothing left there if that is how you approach the only life you're given. You think you're using it when really you're taking its tiny little neck and wringing it over the sink, or stringing it up like spring laundry.

IF YOU ARE DONE BECOMING SOMETHING THEN YOU ARE DONE AND HAD BEST LEAVE ROOM FOR THE PEOPLE WITH AIR IN THEIR LUNGS WILLING TO FURTHER HUMANKINDS PROGRESS.

The arrogance that comes with this lofty sense of done-ness creates a stench that gags any cognizant person inthe room. It is pathetic.

Please re-read capslocked words, phrases and statements of the point, at this point, has not been driven home. This is not intended to be so shrouded in mystery, but you never know what prying eyes are surfing the wbe and googling your name.

Hey Barbara, I hope you read this, not because you are part of the irritant in question but because it has to do with you in a not so aggressive and angry sort of way.