There is No Going Back
03/27/2006 05:18 p.m.

Misery and emotionalism are drugs we indulge in, an arsenal of justification. They are self inflicted irrelevant pains that temporarily numb the significant pain at large. Constant indulgence in these drugs is a path to final death, a permanent apathy wherein we suddenly find that the numbness no longer leaves us. We may or may not ever reach that point, but we continue to indulge, justifying that as long as we feel the pain, we can at least claim to be alive.

That’s what I used to believe, and how I used to justify my inaction. Now I realize my grave error. I no longer mistake ‘indulgence’ for ‘struggle,’ though I still participate in both. Consequent to this realization, I find it impossible to justify my inaction, no matter how hard I try.

I was desperately “sad” a moment ago, then the phone rang and I suddenly felt “happy”. I realized just then that sad can’t possibly mean SAD, and happy can’t possibly mean HAPPY. Being is not a state of fluctuation. BEING is what SHOULD BE.

In the end, BEING is really what is (not) known by most, as LOVE.

I am currently Quiet
I am listening to The Sound of Coming Change