Trish
01/23/2006 11:44 p.m.
I'm not quite sure just how to feel right. Why are things not the way they were. Why does he not cherish me until I'm desperate and teary eyed. I'm not just some image. She's become an idea, and image to him. But I've been talking to her. She isn't a picture or a concept. She's a girl in love when she wasn't sure about loving again. She's a friend. "oh great" he says. "There's my ex coming back into my life again." But she never 'came back.' He brought her back the first time, and this time.... this time I talked to her. Why is it that Kellie has to be the one to say don't worry, he'll call you up soon. By the way, Trish, this hurts me like hell but if he makes you happy then I'm happy. If he makes me happy. Nothing is the same. I miss the guy who was crazy about me, not just when I was sad, and not just crazy about the idea of us, but of me, Patricia Caddy. The girl who wants to be a doctor and do things like join up with MSF and help people. The girl who likes to play sax and soccer and write poetry and watches flowers and grows tomatoes in the summer. The girl who loves small children and finds biology facts fascinating. The girl who knows the lyrics or at least the tunes to most of his songs. The girl who's terrified of trusting him or anyone again, the girl whos found herself short of friends in these past months. The one with the almond eyes.