i started 2006 with a bad dream
01/01/2006 07:07 p.m.
last night,
god, or
my subconscious mind, or
some other uncontrollable force
gave me
a nightmare

i dreamt i was in his room
digging through his belongings
finding out about his new loves, his new
life

his cat
(which was a kitten last time i saw him)
remembered me
and curled up on my lap
remembering the times that he slept, wedged
between the bodies of two lovers

and his whole family
came in to his room to see me
looking through his drawers;
they said
he's coming home

and he walked in
there i was, unexplainably searching
for details on how his life has changed
without me in it

[he looked at me, mostly with pity]
[he waited for me to leave]

i woke up
sure of the fact
that i am not missed