You Cannot Fill Emptiness with Emptiness
10/15/2005 01:35 p.m.

Have you ever been so afraid of death, loss, and being alone that you have feared life itself? Have you ever noticed that when you fear life you have started to live your death, your loss, and you have actually become utterly alone? Have you noticed that fear always breeds hatred most significantly directed towards the self, killing any presence of genuine self love? Do you SEE and realize that you have brought upon your own head those very things you are afraid of? And why? For no other reason than you are afraid of some projected thought? You are afraid of a mind-made projected illusion drawn from past fears. This is fear of fear. Where it holds you depends on where you first held the fear.

When you miss yourself you miss any meaning, any love, any joy, any beauty. You become the death of "I" once and for all silencing her. What are the chances she re-emerges when those others block all quality impressions for her to feed on? What are the chances "I" am raised from the dead when "they" continue to build false walls they claim as 'sturdy', blocking all vision, all courage, all love, and all opportunity for growth and attainment of meaning and being on this evolutionary ladder?

I heard some beautiful words whispered into my ears today and I FILLED myself with the LOVE, that genuine SELF-LOVE that cannot be unless I AM enough not to miss myself or the love of another within me. Beautifully bound am I, genuinely bound and entangled with the hopes of hopelessness, the most beautiful hopes of all. For no hope is needed HERE in this very moment, nor can hope become anything but a barrier THERE, where it is shattered, making THERE its permanent home.

"I cannot spread love and beauty if I am filled with hatred and violence. I must close my self to all the fears, all the effects of hatred. I cannot afford to allow this to fill me. I cannot live with fear, hatred and violence. I cannot kill emptiness with emptiness."

Nor will I try...

I am currently Better
I am listening to External Silence, Internal Dialogue with SELF