why am i letting this break my heart?
09/04/2005 06:49 a.m.

i've been driving past your house all night in my head. i miss you so much right now, and maybe it's because your words are circling my room. or because i've thought over and over tonight how i wanted to kiss someone, anyone. and i hate myself and i want you to hate me so this would just be easier. i can't call you. i can't call you. i can't call you. i can't call you. i can't call you. and it's not fair. i can't stop crying or reading your words or blowing my nose or wishing that i was both alone and not alone right now. i'm not anything on my own. i'm not strong enough for myself and i'm falling. god, don't let me drown.