Right
08/31/2005 10:35 a.m.
people are such funny and beautiful and delicate things. I love their tactics and everything tactile about them. The way they think, its all so unique and yet at a basic level they all can connect because their all the same. Made up of the same fleshwires and juice. its an amazing little system.

this is where my poetry's been hiding, in here. in journaling. when the journals stopped it all stopped. no place to chew (ruminate?) on my thoughts. but its back. ive found it. makes life alot easier...

i've abandoned capitalization lately. I wonder why. I mean I intersperse it here and there but at the beginnings of sentences it seems to have disappeared. its a hippie sort of thing i suppose. I feel blocked in so many ways why box myself in a little more?

I'm about little things, I have determined. Little, poignant things. Thoughtful things. Perhaps not little. maybe only poignant. Grand and poignany gestures are fine.

Jordan made a comment about star watching and I think he may be right. I think I'm afriad. I think I'm afraid to really see my own stars. So I tried a little today, in a way, to look into its face. Not his face, but it's you know? the person that magically forms when 2 people are together. The one entity that takes on its own life, the relationship. Staring it in the face is one thing, is easy I suppose. But tickling it, talking to it, comforting it.... very different. Relationships are not like puppies you can play with when their young and tie up inthe back yard and leave when they get older, giving it food and water once and a while. Relationships are definately not puppies. And today... today was something marvelous in a way I can't explain. A certain amount of trust I guess. I suppose I yearn for real intimacy with a person. The kind of love that leaves little sticky notes heres and there. not Everywhere, just, you know, in a shoe once in a while or on the fridge or by the busstop. And I felt a bit of that today. A bit more trust than I'm used to. And the thing is, that trust is so sacred theres no doubt it would be sound in me. Funny how it all just creeps up on you.

Yes today felt.... normal. Normal in a way that hasn't been normal lately. Normal in the way that happy people smile when everything is normal.

Right. This is the word I want. things felt right and in place and not settled or stagnant. Dynamic and wonderful. Fresh. Right. I dunno. I'm happy.

We are growing and its amazing to see the twists and turns we make as we head for what look like 2 very different suns. Maybe its just coming through 2 very different windows. The sun has been known to do things like that.

I feel like tearing down walls. Literally or figurtively, whatever. I feel like removing boundaries and safeguards and just running around in circles maybe. I dunno. I'm nattering.

I'm just glad to be here today.
I am currently Good