LITERARY EAVESDROPPING
08/17/2005 05:38 a.m.
The other day I found out my brother reads all of my journal entries, and he says he is worried about me.

Dear Joe,
Why? Because I am acting human perhaps? you are not used to that are you? In my deepest darkest parts I really am. Even if I do not show it in everyday life I am.
I know I act heartless and tough. But in reality I am a SAP. Sickening isn't it? Don't worry I WILL get over it.
Or are you worried because all the people I love die. Over and over again, they all die. But Joe consider this, we all have to die at some point. Mine just go to the other side sooner than most. I am sure there is a lesson in it for me no?
Well anyway Joe, I know you love me. And you know I love you. And we both know that really I am fine. Bored perhaps, stifled a bit, but still fine. I will find my way I always do, don't I?
that is that.....Love, Me (your biggest fan)

Anyhow......tonight I thought maybe if I popped a bottle of bubbly and put on some tunes perhaps I could crack my soul and write something heartfelt and worthwhile...oh well the champagne was good anyway, but I wish I had some dark chocolate....should have picked it up when I thought of it....
BUT no cracks have come only scratches and they do not hurt enough to bleed. SO I guess I will have to wait for some further pain to wake me up. As the scheme of things goes for the past 10 years someone should be walking out of life again and maybe my heart will be awakened again.......
WHO THE HELL KNOWS?
I am currently Brooding
I am listening to FISH TANK FILTERS