He was an anchor
08/15/2005 03:58 p.m.

I was listening to a song by Shawn Mullins the other day. One of the lines suddenly jumped out at me, and I had an "AH-HA." The line(s) are:

"I am emotion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you..."

Well, it's so true! He anchored me. For whatever it was worth, in all the relationship's glory/dysfunction, it anchored me in life. Now, the anchor is gone....thus, the feeling of drifting. It's alright though. I am building a new anchor, one to myself and Creator, and that's perfect.

I finally set up my alter this weekend after nine years of not having one in deference to his comfort. (MY bad!!!) I spent some awesome time there last night, going back in time to love the little girl me, to tell her she is beautiful, to remind her that she is so smart, to tell her she has worth and value in the world, that she is so very loved. I rocked her, I comforted her, I stroked her pretty brown hair. I don't know why, but it occured to me that if it's possible to project positivity forward into our future, why wouldn't it be beneficial to meet up with my "past" selves and make corrections that might affect the now? It will be very interesting to see what happens.

My aunt and I watched "What the BLEEP do we know?" together last night. (I love my auntie!!!) Anyway, there was SO MUCH MORE that jumped out and grabbed me!!! I was amazed. The whole water experiment was just phenomenal, and it made me wonder about my body (which is 80% water), and what I can do to heal it in love and thankfulness. The actual cellular structure can become more beautiful and functional. It's part of what inspired me to go "back" in time to love the little girl me, and the teenage me, and the grown up mommy me who didn't always make choices that were for the highest good of herself or the children.

I spent Saturday at my mother's little studio apartment, cleaning for her. For some reason, she just doesn't have the energy to do it. I love my mother and knew I had to help, but fun? Not so much....LOL!!!

Well.....on to work.

I am currently Affectionate
I am listening to the peace in my heart