something goes missing
08/01/2005 02:30 p.m.
things are starting to feel like they are changing; as they should; only frankie wasn't expecting change to appear so fast.

what happens is that something goes missing. he's not all too sure what it is exactly, but rewind a year, rewind three months, rewind seven weeks and it's there, whatever it is. but today, and everyday here after it is no longer. you see, he's done this entire moving-thing before but somehow it was easier. leaving home allowed him to leave loose ends behind. a box there, a book here, a sock or two... here he has to be sure to take care of everything because there is no one staying here to watch over anything he may leave behind.

so here he is. and he feels like he has so much less time than he needs. he has a class to finish which includes a quiz a test and a final presentation, three proposals to write and submit before he leaves chicago, a computer to get fixed, an apartment to sublease, bills and financial aid to take care of, and a move to organize.

in the meantime frankie's little niche of friends has evaporated across the chicagoland area and they seldom see each other. he hasn't had a night out at a bar in a long time. he hasn't hung out with more than two or three people at a time in a while... and he kind of misses it. he doesn't want this thing, whatever it is, to go slipping from his reach.

comcast is cancelled. his tv and dvd player are unplugged. the contents of his closet lay in piles across his carpet. this thing here is disconnecting, it's unwinding, and reconfiguring. and frankie doesn't know if he is ready to deal with all of it.

two years have gone by way too fast. two years are winding down rather quickly. but then, this is the nature of things. evolution, if you will. you get what you give... and then everything changes. it doesn't matter if you initiate the change or not -- it will happen, in some shape or form we are all destine to graze.

what is worrisome to him as he sits and contemplates this thing gone missing, is that he may not have put all of himself into this place, into these friends, that it may be possible that only a fraction of him actually lived here. it may be possible that he doesn't feel as inspirational here as he has in past ventures...

nonetheless the grazing continues.

frankie goes to hollywood.

on the plus side, if you need a tv and/or a dvd player he's selling his, along with other miscellaneous items from his apartment. act now.

I am currently Stellar
I am listening to counting crows