Come here
06/04/2005 05:06 p.m.
God I miss her. Jen. She makes things make sense. She makes things clear. The funny part about it is that isn't at all what she feels about herself. But I miss the icecream and sweetness and talks and even the crying, and the books and Nirvana and Marilyn Manson. I miss it all and she hates where she is save for maybe her mother and definately her boyfriend. That stupid fucking trent. She hates him and hes an asshole to her and he's the reason she puts blades into herself. That and her dwindled self esteem. But fuck! What kind of retarded father figure hurts his girlfriends daughter to the point where shes bleeding? I hate Sherwood Park. I've never been there but I hate it. When she's here, things are more or less ok for a slice of time. I want that for her all the time. No matter where she goes. But I get so afraid when I here of things she does, particularly things she does that I dont do, that shes said she doesn't want to do, because I feel like its one more step between us. I'm afraid that the people I need, the people that make me feel alive are slowly distancing themselves from me. I guess it stems from Jordane... then Barbara.... I dont know. Dont even get me started with that.
I am currently Angry
I am listening to Ray Charles