Two Dreams
05/10/2005 03:21 p.m.

(It's actually 10:21 a.m.)
This morning I recall two dreams I had. The first seemed longer and more fantastical, the second very blatantly symbolic.

Dream #1: The first dream involves two couples, me being the female in one of the relationships (I specify my gender as sometimes my dreams find me 'feeling' male). Something present, an unknown and mysterious force that is powerful and perhaps even 'evil', appears without appearing. Both couples are forced into a competition of sorts, and neither couple knows what they are competing for, nor how to win.

It is evident that some writing is involved and that each team must write a book (though at different times in the dream the teams become individuals, and then meld back into couples strangely enough). Two people (who have now become individuals in the competition) write their books before their appointed meeting time with this mysterious power and have them ready. The other individual and I do not write our books, believing that they are to be written at the appointed meeting time with this mysterious presence. I am, however, allowed to read the books of the others before my appointed 'test' time, and as I read the words I see each letter turning to reveal a different letter beneath for just one moment, and then turning back into its original letter. I come to believe that this is a code of some kind that I need to know in order to be successful (there is a sinking feeling that we are not only competing for some prize if we win, but that our lives are in jeopardy if we lose). I come to believe that each letter I see is really a representative of another letter that is more meaningful, and reveals the true content, the true message within, not the book the other has written, but within the mind of that mysterious presence. It is the essence of the 'game'.

The rest of the dream seems somewhat meaningless and so I shall stop here.


Dream #2: This dream evolves from the first as the first ends with a nonsensical revelation of the 'games' winner and meaning while all of us sit on a school bus. After a while, the old story is gone, and now there is a bus driver and we are all students of some sort with luggage. I myself have so much luggage that I wonder how I will ever unload it by myself when the bus stops. When the bus finally does stop, I hurriedly try to load all the bags on my shoulders, finding myself weighed down so heavily. Before I have a chance to even pick up all the bags, the bus driver, a hugely overweight and very mean woman closes the doors and takes off! I scream for her to stop, that I can't possibly walk from the next stop to mine since it's so far and I have so many bags. She starts laughing and saying there is no way she is stopping, and she doesn't care about me or my luggage. I put all the bags down and proceed to the front of the bus where I begin to argue with her, and she is so nasty to me, vile words from a vile woman. I start getting ANGRY...so ANGRY! FURIOUS! I even want to hit her...i want to hit her so badly that I reach out and pinch her arm with utter hatered. But inside I am struggling, struggling with this anger. The moment I pinch her I feel this disgust and anger at myself.

In the end, she stops the bus miles and miles away from where I have to be and screams at me to get out. I drag all that heavy luggage out of the bus as she too walks out. She stands there next to me and yells at me to hurry up and pick up my stuff and laughs and makes fun of me, meanwhile I decide that I will not fight her or react angrily, and so I simply say, "yes...ok...I am hurrying ma'am" - finally she gets back in the bus and goes, leaving me there in an unfamiliar place with all these tons and tons of heavy black bags to return home with...I am lost and alone and unable to return home even if I know the way since the bags are too heavy to carry.

The one thing I didn't mention that is also symbolic, is that when I was not fighting her, but I was taking all her abuse, I was choking on a big thick piece of meat in my mouth...my mouth is full and I can hardly utter the words of "ok...yes" to her. In the end, I see a familiar face in the crowd and run to her crying and asking for help, the whole time that large piece of meat choking me and filling my mouth and throat, and I am unable to spit it out...here is when the dream(s) end and I wake up.



I am currently Detached
I am listening to Newly Loaded MP3's and Office Chatter